We sang We Fall Down from our knees and it was very humbling for me. After reflecting on Psalm 95:6-7, we kneeled before God together and offered Him our crowns. None of us laid down the same “crown.” For some, it was “good health” or “getting my dream job.” For others, it was “control of my life” or a “perfect spouse.” For me, it was being a “qualified leader.”
I struggle to maintain humility, as I’m sure many other church leaders do (writing this post was a humility check in and of itself). As a worship pastor, I have the opportunity to spend most of my time meditating on the truth of God’s Word and songs inspired by it. It is a huge blessing. The subsequent temptation is thinking that I’m qualified to lead. That because I spent more time than anyone else working on the songs for each service, I’m the only one fit to lead the singing. How delusional of me. The truth is I am not, have never been and will never be qualified to lead. I am only a worship pastor by the grace of God, not because of anything that I have done or others didn’t. God has called me to this work, just as He has called others to be teachers, accountants, police officers, nurses, parents, admins or anything else. Who am I to think that I am better than anyone else? We are all literally nothing apart from God yet through the blood of Jesus, He uses each of us in different ways to further His name (Ephesians 2:1-10).
Getting on my knees reminded me of these truths. It was far from comfortable. I’m really tall and very inflexible so pretty much anything other than standing feels weird. Furthermore being on my knees at the front, rather than in the midst of congregation, made me feel more self aware. It wasn’t easy, but it was good. My bent knees broke my pride and reminded me that He must always be greater than I (John 3:30).