I had the opportunity to speak at a youth worship conference this past Saturday. It was a really great event! One of my past students organized the whole thing. It was obvious that she put a lot of thought and prayer into it. I’m very proud of her hard work and honored to have been included!
The conference was held at EFCC, which was nice because I hadn’t been back there since I left the church in April. I was able to see Captain Hook and some other friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. It was nice to feel “known,” especially in this season of query (it’s all good stuff, but definitely not easy to go through).
My friend, Benji, was one of the conference speakers as well. He talked about the importance of knowing your position when leading worship music and used the transfiguration, described in Luke 9,to make his point. He drew our attention to how Peter rushed to “make something happen” once he saw Jesus transfigured amidst Moses and Elijah. He literally said, “it’s good that [I’m] here” (Luke 9:33). The funny thing is before he noticed Jesus, Moses and Elijah, he was asleep. The glory of Jesus woke him up (Luke 9:24). He had nothing to do with awakening Jesus’ glory. Jesus was and would be glorified regardless of what Peter did.
This truth prevails in my experiences with Jesus today. Too often do I fall prey to thinking that His glory is dependent on what people say about the worship music experience or how I feel about it. How pompous of me. As if God is waiting to glorify Himself based on what I say or do. If that was true, He would never be glorified because I am constantly messing up.
I caught myself falling prey to this very thinking literally the next day (I’m prone to wander)! I felt good after our first set. It felt like a similar “good” to that from the week before,which made me question why I was feeling good. To be honest (as if I wouldn’t be ;)), I felt good because I thought the music sounded tight and the morning was vibbing well. I kept reminding myself that Jesus would be glorified regardless of how the morning went, but my words weren’t tested until the second set.
During the next set, and those following, we started making mistakes. The synth pad played in the wrong key during a song, we started on the wrong tempo for another, we hit some wrong chords here and there, etc. I was, however, pleasantly surprised at my countenance. I was able to laugh off each mistake and not beat myself, or anyone else, up. That’s an improvement! I can tell that my heart is changing. I was able to rest in the knowing that we honored God to the best of our ability. Nothing more could be done!
I consider the whole experience a “win.” God has shown me many of my rough spots over the past few weeks so I’m encouraged to know that some of them are getting smoothed out. I’m grateful for how He continues to show me grace and mercy throughout the process. He alone gets the glory for my changes in my life.